D(amn)/dt

wodda hel!! i sae wodda hel!! i'd bin told erlier dat mosta my erlier kauncepts wud b chukd outa da window wunce i strtd klas 11.... dunno hu but sumbudy had bin kind enuff 2 grnat me da blessing of dat incunvinient truth...

scenario wun> > > middle skul teecherz tek a lawt of trubbel 2 get dis fact insyd da craniums of dere pseudo-intelli pupils ... "c hiar chyld... wen dere is a common factor x in numer8r n denomin8r den u cn kaaancell x .... so... xy/xz bcums y/z... c? c?"
enter d omniscient hi-skul teech hu olwez "begs 2 differ" ... i min wat??? i thot begging ws kwite poplr among d financially chalenjd... how duz dat mek u difer??? w/e!!!
hi-skul dyud is of d opinion dat dy/dx is NAWT =y/x ... kauntrery 2 da middle skul dyudette's opinion.... apparentli dass bcuz d stands 4 derivativ .... sez hu?? y cnt it stand 4 dasgupta or dondopat... or ded martian 4 dat m8r????... evr thot alawng dozz lyns?? naw??? das bad ... or izit d(as bad)/dt ???

scenario tooo> > > wokkay 4 d purpos of continuing dis akademik discussion les jus assume 4 da moment dat dx/dt duz stand 4 dervativ of x w/respekt2 t....... den d(gadha)/dt shud hab a real value??? ryt?? my fy6 teech as usual "begs 2 differ!@#!$???!!!" .... gadha is nawt a function of tym.... wokkay... so now t arbitatrarili stands 4 tym... y nawt tarafdar eh??? den gadha and tarafdar wud cancel... d/d... wunder how my fy6 teech wud handel dat?? but naww... d 4 derivativ ... t 4 tym... sheesh .. v shudda startd dis ryt in kindergarten... a 4 accelrashun... b 4 bhektor... c 4 c bhektor ... d 4 deribhatib ... e 4 enerji... f 4 f(x)... g 4 free fol ac... h 4 plank constant ... i 4 i cap... j 4 j cap.. k 4 k cap.... etc....

scenario thiri> > > > ah .. doz were da daes .. ven v untrobbeld folks used to kik soccer balls widout considering dem as !!projektyls??!!@@!$#?? i min ven ppl play futbol... i'm damn sure dey dont calcul8 u and cos theta wl der @ it .... or mebbe dey do... mebbe das y i suk @ futbol....
d(amn)/dt!! i thynk i need tuitions 4m roberto carlos.... 4 fy6... soccer is byond my range... or radr byond my r!!

jeez ... dis is crap.. fy6 ... kem... maths ... ol combyning ... lyk hel deyr kracking me up...
me down n out .... oh wait me d(own)/d(out)...

Njoi...

ps. in cayz ur wundring... da fy6 teech in ques is fictitious ... n so is da part abt deep==gadha [:^o].... ..... .... ..... ..... ..... ..... ...... ... .... 4 d uninitiated dt ws a Y!msngr emoticon ... luk it up.... oh n btw i hereby d(ecree) dt d stands 4 dummy ... ne tekrs???? naw?? d(amn)/d(u)!!

Da return of da tute brygade...

Dat tym of ze yr ol ovr agen... start o' term ... dyuds n dyudettes mekin evry poss lame effort ter mek an impact ... n messin up... having a helluva laff ovr it ol... xamples ?? dats nuder stori.. less kip it 4 l8r ...
deze daes da teecherz seem 2 b gibin da studens a helluva run 4 der manni wid der own stok of sydsplitterz... wat wid da hr-lawng introdukshuns encompassin evrything 4m [name of hys 1st grameen pathshala ] to ..........[ranking in evry standard 4m pathshal daez ryt up2 unibharsiti ... jas 2 "build up ur confidens" in hym @$##$] .......to ...................[how he kraked iit [wid a hammer wid a kwota or w/e sheta bole ni :<]] ......to ..............[ "i'm gud ... yeah i'm damn gud.... i'm verri damn gud ...oh yeah i'm gud n u gonna noe it soon......"] n various modificashuns of doze ....

d foll r sum of da hilarious comments herd in tutz around kol kraked bai les gurudevs demselves...
gess hu sed dem... in da comments ... lessee if ur da know abt waz hapning around town...

1>>> amar kachhe keu jeno wbjeer naam korbe na jeno...duniyar shob cheye lo standard entrance xam... tomader ekhon ja iq ache ta diyei tomra shobai top 50 r modhhe rank korte parbe... [no points 4 dis wun ... he can b onli wun dyud]

2>>> ami meyeder aar cheleder onno alada batchei porai... nahole tomader temon freely bokajhoka korte parbo na... [tok abt euphimisms .... dis wun tex da cake ..... shobai shob bhujhte parche saar .... jio!!]
[korun na bokaboki ... amader o vocab baarbe aar ki]

3>>> "RUBBISH!!! eta ekta answer holo??? " ek mohaan bekti onek koshte ekti onker answer peyechilo : ... ...+2(ab+ac+bc)+.... ... borde sheta korexun dekhalen : ... ... +2(ab+bc+ca) .... ... "ebar koto shundor dekhte lagche dekho.... ki bisri rokomer ekta answer dile ..." ...................................[da dyud is hyujli influenced bai sum einglis poet hu spake "Mathematics ...eet eez a theeng of beauty"....................kil da guy 4 hys bad verses i sae]

4>>> i yam naidar orenj juice nor grape juice nor kanjoos ... my wurk is 2 gib u evry thing i noe... [saar kono passwurd tasswurd aache aapnar??]

5>>> agar syllabus ke bahaar kuch nahi seekhoge to yahaan aane ki koi fayda nahin... u hab too thynk out of ur domain ... raise ur sights... thynk byg... dont let ur dreems b restrikted ... thynk out of ur sitti ... den out of ur kantri... den fynalli thynk out of da wurld.... [ ... jeez... :o ... i dint noe roket science ws in da syllabus did u]

6>>> wen i was smal i used to driam of buying a scooter... :) lyk bajaj ...hamara bajaj :> den i started thynking bigger... i wl hab famili w/ 2 children ... den i thot da scooter wil bcum crowded ...so i thot naw hamara bajaj khatara bajaj... my 1st vehicel wil b ac car ... nd in 2005 i bot ac car ... [dis wuz 45 mins in2 hys "introdukshun" ...sleeping pills?? newun ?? i don think it'll b necessari]

7>>> if i walk 4m sallec tank no. 9 to tank no. 13 newun hu seez me wl thynk dat i yam aam janta .... wen dey ask me hu i yam dey wl noe dat i yam nawt ordinary man.... [newun hu noes da distens 4m tank no. 9 to tank no. 13 wud hav dat impressun in da furs place]

enuff of fakt .... now onto fikshunn....

8>>> amar shorgiyo thakurdar pan card numbr er cube root ekta arithmetik progresson chilo jaano...........ekei bole bUT of mathematics...!

9>>> waaahaaa :( booohooo :( amake aaj professor shonku notun kichu shekhalo na aaj... ami iit pabo naaaa ....[4 da uninitiated shonku hapns 2 b a student of hys hu taut hym how 2 solve a hyuj problem on bhekters uzing plane geometri wid a singel self explanatory diagram... ne guesses?]

dats ol i cn thynk of jus yet .... if ye hav ne morr 2 down8 ... jus mail dem ... don wurry u vl get credit 4 it...

Njoi

Mock Tests!

v ol kno wut mock tests r…v ol gib mock tests b4 d xams!!!wut r mock tests actually???xams vich mock d actuall baansh dts bout 2 cum..!!vel mayb..dts not mah job…dts ur job 2 find out…heard dt d actual marx dt u gt in d xam cn b predetermined by d way uve done in d mock test….dunno..lesse

mohan ali(PF xams)
sub.....................mock test… ........... actual marx hez gona get(icse)

comp....................69%......................95%
ebe.......................9%(das rite).............70%+
maths..................84% ..........................94%

me..(PF xam)
sub. ....................mock test…....................actual marx i got(1^st term)

hist.......................20%................................80%
ebe.......................40%............................... 70%
bangla..................0%(bunked it)...............80%(:D)

shall furthur illustratr8 it by a graph…

Subject: Maths
b4 mah boards..i had giben 15 mock tests!!!!whoah! cnt blive dt mahself!!
drew dis graph 2 determyn how much am gonna get in mah boards!!!!
*scratchin mah head *am compl8ely lost…cn ne1 interpret it fer me….i see d lyn goin up nd dwn…hmmm…..seems lyk a wave!!!etar mane ki hote pare???how much am gone get…..wait wait I find a pattern…..
d marx hv gone up nd dwn alternatingly!!!1^st xam ok…2^nd one.. a lil baansh…3^rd 1..cool!4^th one….bambooo again!!!!!omg !!d lst xam I got a 98!!!!!!!!hell no!!!!
now I think I kno bhery vel wut mah marx r cumin 2 in d boards!!!
Peace out!

need fer speed!!

date: 30^th march..

tym: round 3:00pm

locashun: mah comp. again!!!
me nd dim playin nfs 3:hot pursuit! multiplayer on d sm comp!!! surprised???u shud b… jus figured out dt two players cn play on d sm comp…jus d screen gets split in2 2..nd d players uze two ends ov d keyboard 2 control d car!!!!i drivin a Diablo nd dim drivin a Ferrari!!! cars runnin at speed ov 120 mph...but it seems as if its goin less dan 40 mph!!

still I run d car in2 a pillar..car stop in an instant..no damage..not evn a scratch[phew! vish I cud hv 1 lyk dt….at present mah car is in some garage totally in ruins..ol d interiors ripped apart! :( ]…now dimz hopeless Ferrari ovatakes mah car….moves ahead! I reset mah car….it starts to blink….car becums gaseous mater…passes thruh evry solid body!!! cool….i move ahead…but afta a while dt gaseousness vanishes…I run straight in2 a wall again(note: still no damage to d car)…dimz car is now way ahead!!! I again reset d car nd drive madly lyk a drunk…meanwhile dimz car now hits a taxi..d taxi flies away!!yippie! now I get a chance 2 catch up…..

climax: dimz Ferrari a few metres ahead…mah Diablo still goin strong….ferrari haf a metre ahead…mah Diablo catchin up…tommy hu ws lyin dwn lyk a drunk gets up xcited seein mah Diablo…starts cheerin….d diablo now movin side by side d ferrari!!!! d diable inchin ahead….am jus bout 2 ovatak dt car!!!!! den mah stupid comp. intervenes…
boom!!! screen goes blank…HDD freezes!!! ol ova!! comp. dusn start again fer a few mins!![truncated..aar bolte parchi na....]