whoa e.mails!!!

got a couple ov dese mails sumwhr chk it outwa......

1>Dear mom, last nite varrived at the most fantastic hotel in arequipa,Peru.the en-suite bathrooms, high ceilings, balconies etc etc ......v slept lyk logs on, stirrin frm sweet slumber only 1s, wen d earthquake struk. Panik not mother..afta d initial confushun i fell bck 2 sleep st. away nd woke up in d best ov health, regardless ov gapin cracks in walls nd pavements!

2>Dear dad, i got mugged again, tryin 2 get across 8 lynz ov traffic frn cinelandia 2 d modern art museum in d pourin rain. he did hv a knife but he wsnt particularly threatenin nd he let me open mah wallet nd gib him d notes, rather dan takin evrythin vich wud hv been a pain.its OK am used 2 it now,So long....

3>Dear Mum nd Dad, i kno its bhery dull 2 tok bout d weather, but its -30 deg t'day (in N.Russia), so i think am allowed. My shampoo freezes ebry nite nd children arent allowed 2 go 2 skul coz dey walk 2 slowly nd tend 2 freeze 2 death b4 dey get der.Nice. i am slightly worried cuz i wok at d speed ov a lobotomised snail, thr is 5 inch. ov ice on d roads nd mah new boots hv strayed far frm their natural habitats!!

4>dear mom nd dad, hw r u??This may cm as a shok bt am thinkin ov elopin w/ 1 ov mah studs 2 Assam cuz hez frm d Naga tribe, nd i wanna b a Naga gal nd go huntin monkeys w/ bows nd arrows nd fishing w/ spears lyk dey do..nd den cm bck nd do tribal dancin ol nite, coz its sooo much fun nd ol d tribal ppl here r so gr8 nd brave nd strong....

5>Dear Dad,ive taken 2 teachin mah children(in a skul in India) bout england? lst week v learned bout Sloans, geordies nd lager louts. ive becum d chief slayer ov insects, havin fought cockroached in mah sleepin bag, wash bag, pants nd hair brush.I'm indestructible? Though dysentry wsnt gr8. had a nasty run-in w/ a leper carrin a python dis morn. am now slightly worried bout hw contagious leprosy is!

i leave d comment part 2 u...
peace!!

(Einglis).k

Englis klas in klas leven sexon K is turning out 2 b kwite a comedy.... and dat is d muther of undrst8mnts.... Da escapades hilarioso during da litrachur klasses r ovr now..... [aftr habing dissekted evry infinitesimal frakshun of walter mitty's mynd n hystory 4 da "benefit" of da haples teech..... 4m da various symptoms of hys psychlojikal disorders 4m bipolar disordr 2 skidzofreniuh.... 4m wedr he mae hav bin a german WW2 spy in da past 2 y he ws obsesd wid pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.... and of cors..."Maam hu is dis Dr.Ren**shaw??" .... nonbosconians may nawt undrstand da last bit ... sry abt dat...] .... but wel ol gud thyngs must cum 2 n end ... and if its bosco u spik of .. dey must necesssarili b replayced by b8r thyngs....

Frazal verbs ... 2 d obvious dlyt of ze K-sexon bakbenchrz... offer tremndus skope 4 adulterashun... or shall v sae purposeful manipulashun .................stil in d dark ??? reed on...

Our eng teech kips mekin da most un4givable errors... aftr d naive faux pas of asking us 2 analyz walter mittyz karacter da prev week.... she asks us 2 mek sentences... undr da usual demented opinion dat it wud [sumhow] kip us ocupied ... ... ... dat it did ... 2 gud mezzur...

ACT=>
fRUNT BENCH: Ramesh acted on da advyc of hys parents bcuz dey ...blah blah blah...
4th bench: Act, Act in da gawd4saken present!!!....
prof. shonku: He akted onstaje [short n sweet.... 2 short 4 da teech]
tommy: Khao Act 2 popkorn....#@$!%$%!$^~!@

Bak=>
manky: Bak off !!
teech: yes now mek a sentens wid dat...
manky: yes maam... "bak off!"
teech: ......
tommy: Maam dre's an xklamashun mark...
teech: oh!

Bear=>
bear out -> prof. shonku: da sine outsyd da zoo sed "bear out"
: bear out, plz col aftr 3...
misc: hey bear, out!!
: hey bear, down boy!!
bear on-> neo: da bear on d hot tin roof is hot.... !!@~%%~#~%##@!!!!
prof shonku: j**t is wat happens wen u hab a bear on u...
bear wid-> tommy:bear wid me ... dawg wid u....
bear up-> prof shonku: bear up, plz use an umbrella!!!#~~$!@$%*!!
tommy: bear up and down , round and round.... arre washing machine er ad eta... ki shob bhabchish!!??!!!

Break=>
break down -> txtbuk: da car broke down on d highhwae...
tommy: da printing press broke down......[aftrthot] .... on da highwae...
break into -> neo: d thief broke into the haus onli 2 reelyz it ws hys own .....
tommy: A rat broke in2 d thief's haus @ d sem tym....
... .... ....
... .... ....

dass ol i cn thynk of @ d moment ... its damn l8 ......me dozing off... if my co-conspir8rs remba ne udr kwotes ... u noe my edres...
Njoi.....