Ne connexion?? part 2....

its bin a long tym since sumtin new nd worthless hv been put up in dis blog...so i thot its tym...
dataone...i gezz itz nw a familiar naym among ze internet userz ov ze city....herez a data1 pj or sumfin lyk zat.... chk out ze pix...


awl images r self-xplanatory....;)
derz a reezun data1 has no fyuuchaar!!!
peace...

Ne conexun????

kleening out wun of my drawrs aftr a cnsyderabel fraction of eternity... i stumbled acros sum stuff 4m my prymary skul daez.... a pack of dozz "trump cards" ... wyl rifling thru d set... i found dat kwite a few of d names of dese "superstars" had found der place as niknames of frnds... [or crude approximashunz of dozz niknames...]

posting a few of dese cards here... c if u recognyz d lot...
[hynt: beig a bosconian mae hlp... nawt evrybuddy wl b able 2 recognyz awl of dem ppl... sry abt dat...]


dis dyud axli pays 2 educ8 sum of d major tutors arnd kolkata... tok abt charity...
recentli gawt 2geda wid wun of d few ppl i cnsydrd hys eqwal... wokkay... dis wun's a sytter...

sae... dey'v exagger8d hys hyt a teenyweeny byt.... just a teeny weeny byt....



gender mae b misleading here.... dis dyud presntli slogging away @ jhat bangla pathshala...
aka jojo... or kappa in hys nu skul... famus wyl @ bosco 4 hys hilarious sydsplytting khistis....




d pipers in d house ... thus spake dis dyud's abt me in orkut... d nikname obv is slf proclaimed...
also an nrb... lyk meslf...




here again ... gender mae b misleading ... d onli nawn bosconian here.... dozz in dnb sir's tute in klas 10 wil noe hu dis refrs 2 ... i hav d feeling dat sumbuddy's gonna mek me pay 4 dis ... but hel ... just cudnt resist... :-> .... hope u'll tek dis in d ryt spirit...
bin wrking up kwite a beard.... oye ... dari tor elektrik razor ta ekhane kaje lagbe bodh hoy... ;)



lastli... ur truli... dey'v bin respektful enuf nawt 2 mek a circus outta dis pik thankfulli... best thing abt d stats is d rank .... remynds me of d daes wen i styl cheryshd d hallowed title of being just a dark horse on d horizon.... in evry udr wae a normal guy hu cud fit in perfektli ....

Dats awl 4 dis tym...
noe i hav bin lazy wid my blogging d past few mnths ... but den hu hasnt... ??
Njoi...

Luking bak....

naw.... in case ur wndring im nawt going 2 ryt abt ol dat happend las yr @ d pathshala... ...... ... ... ... dass fursli bcuz i don wan dis blawg 2 reed lyk an obituary ..... ... ... ... ... bcuz as far as im cuncernd ... bosco livs on in me.... jus as d bacteria in my intestyns..or d k. streptococci sp. in my cranium.... ;) :> ............ and sekundli.... ... .... .... wadda hell ... hu needs remynding....

its hy tym i gawt sum of xpriences @ my tutes las yr down in blawgspace.... so i'll start [nd end] wid d wun i've bin askd 2 recount ol ovr agen most ofen .... einglish....

joind sumtym round augst klas 9.... aftr sleeping thru a few mnths at dantes... nd disrupting klasses wit elan @ wun niarbai "galaxy tutorial" ...hus klasrum space ws ample testimony 2 d fakt dat names cn b misleading...
basikali wun of d furst teechrs i axualli respektd [yeah ... u did reed dat ryt].... in spyte of ol dat follows below...

wl down do it... d dyud is a lamb wen unxcited.... and a wild boar wen rubbed on d rong syd...den he gains a singularli humorous habit of uzing wrds lyk "damn" and "bluddy" five tyms per sentence .... hilarious....

he's also wun of d wurld's most capabel conspiracy theorists.... famous 4 inund8ing purfektli simple short stories wid highli enlytnd stuff lyk dreamed-up krishchan kauncepts nd wacky biblikal allusions....

case in point wun>>>> DA THIEF ---- rustbin bond
.... peppered d stori wid FIVE allusions to krishchan kauncepts..... u'll need 2 hav red d stori 2 follo 4m here on.....

• furs tym d dyud nicked cash 4m protagonist guy..... >>crischen kauncept of temptashun !!??

• d dood hesit8s.... misses d train 2 devil-noes-were.... >>dyud has herd d voice of gawd within hym.... >> musta swallowd hys ipod i sae.....

• d dyud sleeps on a bench as a fyujitiv... gets drenched in d rain... feels sori 4 d gai huz cash he'd nickd... >> d rain clensed hym nd hys mynd !!??!! nd imbybd krishchan feelings of devil-noes-wat !!?? ritualistik purgation of d soul....cristian kauncept of baptizm !!??!!?
  

• d dood counts d money he's nicked ...den he sez... a gud haul.... >>gud haul is an allusion to fishing... dyud thynks he's cot protagonist guy.... but l8r v see dat axualli its d uder wae round... der4 reversal of roles.... tables r turned... protag catches d dyud n 4givs hym..... in dis wae protag guy cumpared 2 st.peter... d orginal fisherman....metaphor...

• d dyud felt bad abt nickin d cash.... returnd d booty... >>crischen kauncept of repentance....

Das awl abt da krischanitti.... now onto d uder metaforz....

• da initial wrestling match is symbolik of d kaunflikt.... .... da indecision.... da dilemma ... da saikolojikal tussle in d dyud's mynd.....>> sumbuddy tell hym he's nawt a thesaurus 4 gawd's sek...

• d saikolojikal tussle revolves around d queschn.... 2 steal or nawt 2 steel...

• d dood's resling match wid protag guy has 3 bouts.... furs da dyud cunvinces protag guy 2 mploy hym.... sekund d yud cunvinces protag guy 2 let hym stay in hys mploimnt.... howevr protag guy ultim8li emerges victorius in d thard round bai 4giving d thief dyud

• as protag guy is analogous 2 st. peter..... d harsh morning lyt in d morning aftr d dyud nickd d cash is symbolik of d halo around st.peter...!!??!!

dass awl in dis stori... as far as i can remmbr...
d teech inspyt of ol dis .... is a pretty cool guy.... n no matter wat my batchm8s thynk... i'm stil of d impression dat he had a ruddy gud idea how hilarious he wus mekin it ol...
b bak wid morr...
til den ....Njoi...

whoa e.mails!!!

got a couple ov dese mails sumwhr chk it outwa......

1>Dear mom, last nite varrived at the most fantastic hotel in arequipa,Peru.the en-suite bathrooms, high ceilings, balconies etc etc ......v slept lyk logs on, stirrin frm sweet slumber only 1s, wen d earthquake struk. Panik not mother..afta d initial confushun i fell bck 2 sleep st. away nd woke up in d best ov health, regardless ov gapin cracks in walls nd pavements!

2>Dear dad, i got mugged again, tryin 2 get across 8 lynz ov traffic frn cinelandia 2 d modern art museum in d pourin rain. he did hv a knife but he wsnt particularly threatenin nd he let me open mah wallet nd gib him d notes, rather dan takin evrythin vich wud hv been a pain.its OK am used 2 it now,So long....

3>Dear Mum nd Dad, i kno its bhery dull 2 tok bout d weather, but its -30 deg t'day (in N.Russia), so i think am allowed. My shampoo freezes ebry nite nd children arent allowed 2 go 2 skul coz dey walk 2 slowly nd tend 2 freeze 2 death b4 dey get der.Nice. i am slightly worried cuz i wok at d speed ov a lobotomised snail, thr is 5 inch. ov ice on d roads nd mah new boots hv strayed far frm their natural habitats!!

4>dear mom nd dad, hw r u??This may cm as a shok bt am thinkin ov elopin w/ 1 ov mah studs 2 Assam cuz hez frm d Naga tribe, nd i wanna b a Naga gal nd go huntin monkeys w/ bows nd arrows nd fishing w/ spears lyk dey do..nd den cm bck nd do tribal dancin ol nite, coz its sooo much fun nd ol d tribal ppl here r so gr8 nd brave nd strong....

5>Dear Dad,ive taken 2 teachin mah children(in a skul in India) bout england? lst week v learned bout Sloans, geordies nd lager louts. ive becum d chief slayer ov insects, havin fought cockroached in mah sleepin bag, wash bag, pants nd hair brush.I'm indestructible? Though dysentry wsnt gr8. had a nasty run-in w/ a leper carrin a python dis morn. am now slightly worried bout hw contagious leprosy is!

i leave d comment part 2 u...
peace!!

(Einglis).k

Englis klas in klas leven sexon K is turning out 2 b kwite a comedy.... and dat is d muther of undrst8mnts.... Da escapades hilarioso during da litrachur klasses r ovr now..... [aftr habing dissekted evry infinitesimal frakshun of walter mitty's mynd n hystory 4 da "benefit" of da haples teech..... 4m da various symptoms of hys psychlojikal disorders 4m bipolar disordr 2 skidzofreniuh.... 4m wedr he mae hav bin a german WW2 spy in da past 2 y he ws obsesd wid pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.... and of cors..."Maam hu is dis Dr.Ren**shaw??" .... nonbosconians may nawt undrstand da last bit ... sry abt dat...] .... but wel ol gud thyngs must cum 2 n end ... and if its bosco u spik of .. dey must necesssarili b replayced by b8r thyngs....

Frazal verbs ... 2 d obvious dlyt of ze K-sexon bakbenchrz... offer tremndus skope 4 adulterashun... or shall v sae purposeful manipulashun .................stil in d dark ??? reed on...

Our eng teech kips mekin da most un4givable errors... aftr d naive faux pas of asking us 2 analyz walter mittyz karacter da prev week.... she asks us 2 mek sentences... undr da usual demented opinion dat it wud [sumhow] kip us ocupied ... ... ... dat it did ... 2 gud mezzur...

ACT=>
fRUNT BENCH: Ramesh acted on da advyc of hys parents bcuz dey ...blah blah blah...
4th bench: Act, Act in da gawd4saken present!!!....
prof. shonku: He akted onstaje [short n sweet.... 2 short 4 da teech]
tommy: Khao Act 2 popkorn....#@$!%$%!$^~!@

Bak=>
manky: Bak off !!
teech: yes now mek a sentens wid dat...
manky: yes maam... "bak off!"
teech: ......
tommy: Maam dre's an xklamashun mark...
teech: oh!

Bear=>
bear out -> prof. shonku: da sine outsyd da zoo sed "bear out"
: bear out, plz col aftr 3...
misc: hey bear, out!!
: hey bear, down boy!!
bear on-> neo: da bear on d hot tin roof is hot.... !!@~%%~#~%##@!!!!
prof shonku: j**t is wat happens wen u hab a bear on u...
bear wid-> tommy:bear wid me ... dawg wid u....
bear up-> prof shonku: bear up, plz use an umbrella!!!#~~$!@$%*!!
tommy: bear up and down , round and round.... arre washing machine er ad eta... ki shob bhabchish!!??!!!

Break=>
break down -> txtbuk: da car broke down on d highhwae...
tommy: da printing press broke down......[aftrthot] .... on da highwae...
break into -> neo: d thief broke into the haus onli 2 reelyz it ws hys own .....
tommy: A rat broke in2 d thief's haus @ d sem tym....
... .... ....
... .... ....

dass ol i cn thynk of @ d moment ... its damn l8 ......me dozing off... if my co-conspir8rs remba ne udr kwotes ... u noe my edres...
Njoi.....

D(amn)/dt

wodda hel!! i sae wodda hel!! i'd bin told erlier dat mosta my erlier kauncepts wud b chukd outa da window wunce i strtd klas 11.... dunno hu but sumbudy had bin kind enuff 2 grnat me da blessing of dat incunvinient truth...

scenario wun> > > middle skul teecherz tek a lawt of trubbel 2 get dis fact insyd da craniums of dere pseudo-intelli pupils ... "c hiar chyld... wen dere is a common factor x in numer8r n denomin8r den u cn kaaancell x .... so... xy/xz bcums y/z... c? c?"
enter d omniscient hi-skul teech hu olwez "begs 2 differ" ... i min wat??? i thot begging ws kwite poplr among d financially chalenjd... how duz dat mek u difer??? w/e!!!
hi-skul dyud is of d opinion dat dy/dx is NAWT =y/x ... kauntrery 2 da middle skul dyudette's opinion.... apparentli dass bcuz d stands 4 derivativ .... sez hu?? y cnt it stand 4 dasgupta or dondopat... or ded martian 4 dat m8r????... evr thot alawng dozz lyns?? naw??? das bad ... or izit d(as bad)/dt ???

scenario tooo> > > wokkay 4 d purpos of continuing dis akademik discussion les jus assume 4 da moment dat dx/dt duz stand 4 dervativ of x w/respekt2 t....... den d(gadha)/dt shud hab a real value??? ryt?? my fy6 teech as usual "begs 2 differ!@#!$???!!!" .... gadha is nawt a function of tym.... wokkay... so now t arbitatrarili stands 4 tym... y nawt tarafdar eh??? den gadha and tarafdar wud cancel... d/d... wunder how my fy6 teech wud handel dat?? but naww... d 4 derivativ ... t 4 tym... sheesh .. v shudda startd dis ryt in kindergarten... a 4 accelrashun... b 4 bhektor... c 4 c bhektor ... d 4 deribhatib ... e 4 enerji... f 4 f(x)... g 4 free fol ac... h 4 plank constant ... i 4 i cap... j 4 j cap.. k 4 k cap.... etc....

scenario thiri> > > > ah .. doz were da daes .. ven v untrobbeld folks used to kik soccer balls widout considering dem as !!projektyls??!!@@!$#?? i min ven ppl play futbol... i'm damn sure dey dont calcul8 u and cos theta wl der @ it .... or mebbe dey do... mebbe das y i suk @ futbol....
d(amn)/dt!! i thynk i need tuitions 4m roberto carlos.... 4 fy6... soccer is byond my range... or radr byond my r!!

jeez ... dis is crap.. fy6 ... kem... maths ... ol combyning ... lyk hel deyr kracking me up...
me down n out .... oh wait me d(own)/d(out)...

Njoi...

ps. in cayz ur wundring... da fy6 teech in ques is fictitious ... n so is da part abt deep==gadha [:^o].... ..... .... ..... ..... ..... ..... ...... ... .... 4 d uninitiated dt ws a Y!msngr emoticon ... luk it up.... oh n btw i hereby d(ecree) dt d stands 4 dummy ... ne tekrs???? naw?? d(amn)/d(u)!!

Da return of da tute brygade...

Dat tym of ze yr ol ovr agen... start o' term ... dyuds n dyudettes mekin evry poss lame effort ter mek an impact ... n messin up... having a helluva laff ovr it ol... xamples ?? dats nuder stori.. less kip it 4 l8r ...
deze daes da teecherz seem 2 b gibin da studens a helluva run 4 der manni wid der own stok of sydsplitterz... wat wid da hr-lawng introdukshuns encompassin evrything 4m [name of hys 1st grameen pathshala ] to ..........[ranking in evry standard 4m pathshal daez ryt up2 unibharsiti ... jas 2 "build up ur confidens" in hym @$##$] .......to ...................[how he kraked iit [wid a hammer wid a kwota or w/e sheta bole ni :<]] ......to ..............[ "i'm gud ... yeah i'm damn gud.... i'm verri damn gud ...oh yeah i'm gud n u gonna noe it soon......"] n various modificashuns of doze ....

d foll r sum of da hilarious comments herd in tutz around kol kraked bai les gurudevs demselves...
gess hu sed dem... in da comments ... lessee if ur da know abt waz hapning around town...

1>>> amar kachhe keu jeno wbjeer naam korbe na jeno...duniyar shob cheye lo standard entrance xam... tomader ekhon ja iq ache ta diyei tomra shobai top 50 r modhhe rank korte parbe... [no points 4 dis wun ... he can b onli wun dyud]

2>>> ami meyeder aar cheleder onno alada batchei porai... nahole tomader temon freely bokajhoka korte parbo na... [tok abt euphimisms .... dis wun tex da cake ..... shobai shob bhujhte parche saar .... jio!!]
[korun na bokaboki ... amader o vocab baarbe aar ki]

3>>> "RUBBISH!!! eta ekta answer holo??? " ek mohaan bekti onek koshte ekti onker answer peyechilo : ... ...+2(ab+ac+bc)+.... ... borde sheta korexun dekhalen : ... ... +2(ab+bc+ca) .... ... "ebar koto shundor dekhte lagche dekho.... ki bisri rokomer ekta answer dile ..." ...................................[da dyud is hyujli influenced bai sum einglis poet hu spake "Mathematics ...eet eez a theeng of beauty"....................kil da guy 4 hys bad verses i sae]

4>>> i yam naidar orenj juice nor grape juice nor kanjoos ... my wurk is 2 gib u evry thing i noe... [saar kono passwurd tasswurd aache aapnar??]

5>>> agar syllabus ke bahaar kuch nahi seekhoge to yahaan aane ki koi fayda nahin... u hab too thynk out of ur domain ... raise ur sights... thynk byg... dont let ur dreems b restrikted ... thynk out of ur sitti ... den out of ur kantri... den fynalli thynk out of da wurld.... [ ... jeez... :o ... i dint noe roket science ws in da syllabus did u]

6>>> wen i was smal i used to driam of buying a scooter... :) lyk bajaj ...hamara bajaj :> den i started thynking bigger... i wl hab famili w/ 2 children ... den i thot da scooter wil bcum crowded ...so i thot naw hamara bajaj khatara bajaj... my 1st vehicel wil b ac car ... nd in 2005 i bot ac car ... [dis wuz 45 mins in2 hys "introdukshun" ...sleeping pills?? newun ?? i don think it'll b necessari]

7>>> if i walk 4m sallec tank no. 9 to tank no. 13 newun hu seez me wl thynk dat i yam aam janta .... wen dey ask me hu i yam dey wl noe dat i yam nawt ordinary man.... [newun hu noes da distens 4m tank no. 9 to tank no. 13 wud hav dat impressun in da furs place]

enuff of fakt .... now onto fikshunn....

8>>> amar shorgiyo thakurdar pan card numbr er cube root ekta arithmetik progresson chilo jaano...........ekei bole bUT of mathematics...!

9>>> waaahaaa :( booohooo :( amake aaj professor shonku notun kichu shekhalo na aaj... ami iit pabo naaaa ....[4 da uninitiated shonku hapns 2 b a student of hys hu taut hym how 2 solve a hyuj problem on bhekters uzing plane geometri wid a singel self explanatory diagram... ne guesses?]

dats ol i cn thynk of jus yet .... if ye hav ne morr 2 down8 ... jus mail dem ... don wurry u vl get credit 4 it...

Njoi

Mock Tests!

v ol kno wut mock tests r…v ol gib mock tests b4 d xams!!!wut r mock tests actually???xams vich mock d actuall baansh dts bout 2 cum..!!vel mayb..dts not mah job…dts ur job 2 find out…heard dt d actual marx dt u gt in d xam cn b predetermined by d way uve done in d mock test….dunno..lesse

mohan ali(PF xams)
sub.....................mock test… ........... actual marx hez gona get(icse)

comp....................69%......................95%
ebe.......................9%(das rite).............70%+
maths..................84% ..........................94%

me..(PF xam)
sub. ....................mock test…....................actual marx i got(1^st term)

hist.......................20%................................80%
ebe.......................40%............................... 70%
bangla..................0%(bunked it)...............80%(:D)

shall furthur illustratr8 it by a graph…

Subject: Maths
b4 mah boards..i had giben 15 mock tests!!!!whoah! cnt blive dt mahself!!
drew dis graph 2 determyn how much am gonna get in mah boards!!!!
*scratchin mah head *am compl8ely lost…cn ne1 interpret it fer me….i see d lyn goin up nd dwn…hmmm…..seems lyk a wave!!!etar mane ki hote pare???how much am gone get…..wait wait I find a pattern…..
d marx hv gone up nd dwn alternatingly!!!1^st xam ok…2^nd one.. a lil baansh…3^rd 1..cool!4^th one….bambooo again!!!!!omg !!d lst xam I got a 98!!!!!!!!hell no!!!!
now I think I kno bhery vel wut mah marx r cumin 2 in d boards!!!
Peace out!

need fer speed!!

date: 30^th march..

tym: round 3:00pm

locashun: mah comp. again!!!
me nd dim playin nfs 3:hot pursuit! multiplayer on d sm comp!!! surprised???u shud b… jus figured out dt two players cn play on d sm comp…jus d screen gets split in2 2..nd d players uze two ends ov d keyboard 2 control d car!!!!i drivin a Diablo nd dim drivin a Ferrari!!! cars runnin at speed ov 120 mph...but it seems as if its goin less dan 40 mph!!

still I run d car in2 a pillar..car stop in an instant..no damage..not evn a scratch[phew! vish I cud hv 1 lyk dt….at present mah car is in some garage totally in ruins..ol d interiors ripped apart! :( ]…now dimz hopeless Ferrari ovatakes mah car….moves ahead! I reset mah car….it starts to blink….car becums gaseous mater…passes thruh evry solid body!!! cool….i move ahead…but afta a while dt gaseousness vanishes…I run straight in2 a wall again(note: still no damage to d car)…dimz car is now way ahead!!! I again reset d car nd drive madly lyk a drunk…meanwhile dimz car now hits a taxi..d taxi flies away!!yippie! now I get a chance 2 catch up…..

climax: dimz Ferrari a few metres ahead…mah Diablo still goin strong….ferrari haf a metre ahead…mah Diablo catchin up…tommy hu ws lyin dwn lyk a drunk gets up xcited seein mah Diablo…starts cheerin….d diablo now movin side by side d ferrari!!!! d diable inchin ahead….am jus bout 2 ovatak dt car!!!!! den mah stupid comp. intervenes…
boom!!! screen goes blank…HDD freezes!!! ol ova!! comp. dusn start again fer a few mins!![truncated..aar bolte parchi na....]